Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Sweet Dreams, I Hold on to...Memories I Hold on to...
I feel bittersweet about graduating from Meredith College. I have made a lot of good memories here...some I don't care for and were awful, but I really do feel that all of my good days outweigh my bad days (yes I know this is cliche but it's how I feel.) Right now I just feel like I'm propelling towards the unknown and so for me that feels like a "no man's land," hence the song choice. I'm feeling so much right now I don't even know how to formulate them all into words. Most of them are good feelings...it's just so much.
I have a plan that I laid out for myself, but I don't know if that's going to happen. The fact of the matter is whatever God has planned for me is what is going to happen...or so I think. I have heard numerous stories from people who knew what God told them to do, yet they decided to do their own thing until they got so miserable from not being where they needed to be...blah blah blah, etc. I have been praying a lot--I just hate the unknown. As far as I know, I have been "delighting myself in the Lord," and I have A LOT of desires in my heart. It's pretty much a running list. I feel like there's so much that I want to do that what if it's too much...maybe I'm not being realistic. At the same time, if everyone abides by what is "logical" then nothing would get done or be invented b/c you would be operating off of preexisting rules waiting for another to prove otherwise....People say all the time "you can't have it all." I beg to differ--I am seeking out to have it all. this post prob made no sense whatsoever, but life's like that, makes no sense whatsoever sometimes...it is what it is.