Good Life

Although I've been really stressed with getting stuff ready for my senior art show, graduation, graduation itself/celebrations, and getting my ducks in a row for grad school--I am really having a good life right!! Yeah, nothing is perfect or ideal right now, and I do have other stuff going wrong in my life, everything still feels right. I'm just happy, glad, excited, joyful, exuberant, ecstatic, all of the above!! Earlier today one of my friends said I seem happy on facebook, and I replied you know what, I feel happy! Right now, I'm living  the good life and I am going to ride it out as long as this season lasts. Life can change in an instant. 

random thoughts from venting, a poem

Yesterday I was venting about all the uproar with tax cuts and budget cuts and government program cuts, and this idea kinda grew out of that. It's just meant to be read for now....discuss if u will....here it goes, enjoy? *shrug*:

I’d like to have a no-holds-barred discussion

I am a brown-skinned United States-ian

I am called African American

Africa is a continent to which I have never been

And truthfully,

America is a couple of continents which I have never explored

United States is my country of origin

That is only united in theory

I suppose my country is quite hypocritical in its name

No, there is no civil war with guns

But we fight each other with money, stocks and bonds

We fight each other with racism, sexism, and classism, ammunition of hate

The only time we are united is in between bars of the ♪♫ 50 Niffty United States ♪♫

But go behind bars

You will find a different story

Lets raise the bar and see who can jump it or gets stuck in limbo

Maybe if we go to the bars

We can forget

And

Libations will be the lotus to make us all closer

If this is proven to drive somebody to drinking

Maybe one of ya’ll can go pass the bar to defend me

Or better yet prosecute me

For murdering with the truth

I’d rather be found guilty

Sweet Dreams, I Hold on to...Memories I Hold on to...

I feel bittersweet about graduating from Meredith College. I have made a lot of good memories here...some I don't care for and were awful, but I really do feel that all of my good days outweigh my bad days (yes I know this is cliche but it's how I feel.) Right now I just feel like I'm propelling towards the unknown and so for me that feels like a "no man's land," hence the song choice. I'm feeling so much right now I don't even know how to formulate them all into words. Most of them are good feelings...it's just so much.

I have a plan that I laid out for myself, but I don't know if that's going to happen. The fact of the matter is whatever God has planned for me is what is going to happen...or so I think. I have heard numerous stories from people who knew what God told them to do, yet they decided to do their own thing until they got so miserable from not being where they needed to be...blah blah blah, etc. I have been praying a lot--I just hate the unknown. As far as I know, I have been "delighting myself in the Lord," and I have A LOT of desires in my heart. It's pretty much a running list. I feel like there's so much that I want to do that what if it's too much...maybe I'm not being realistic. At the same time, if everyone abides by what is "logical" then nothing would get done or be invented b/c you would be operating off of preexisting rules waiting for another to prove otherwise....People say all the time "you can't have it all." I beg to differ--I am seeking out to have it all. this post prob made no sense whatsoever, but life's like that, makes no sense whatsoever sometimes...it is what it is.

one love,
kay rich

FINALLY DONE APPLYING.........to grad school that is =)

Today I used UPS to mail off my supplementary materials to NYU, which means I am OFFICIALLY done with applications to graduate school. As mentioned 2 posts ago, I applied to NYU and GW; however, at the last minute I applied to Drexel. They sent me an email that waived the fee so I said what the hey, why not? It's free! So now I just W A I T.............................................................and wait. lol

While I was having another moment today where I was freaking out, I felt God reassuring me that everything is in His hands. Now, I'm pretty calm and at peace about it--besides I did my best. Regardless that my future at any of those schools is being decided by admissions based on my transcript, GRE scores, personal statement, recommendations, resume and digital portfolio, God knows me. Even if they don't know me, God knows what I want. I have been delighting myself in Him, and He's given me this desire. What I want to do now I cannot with a BA--I need an MA. PLUS *drum roll* I LOVE SCHOOL!!! Of course, we cannot be students forever, and the whole purpose of being such is to better ourselves and possibly the world in some sort of capacity.

Well I'm about to begin Friday festivities--but this blog post is NOT done........I just wanna get somethin FRESH upppppp, and let everyone know that we're waiting on my acceptance letters--which will come after the letters for an invitation for an interviewwwwww. (By "we" I mean family, friends, mentors, professors, former employers ie everyone who wants to see me succeed--THANK YOU & many thanks for waiting with me.) ((If it seems like you constantly ask if I have heard back yet--I PROMISE it will NOT get on my nerves, it just let's me know you care or ur curious or both))

Sooooo BACK to this entry!!! I am just proud of the fact that I have been trying my best and finishing the applications b/c some people don't even try. I don't want to be the person who wonders, "what if?" Also, so many of my ancestors who have gone before me and my grandparents who are still living didn't even have the opportunity to finish high school--so you best believe I am getting as much education as I can. Plus I can see myself with really long locks someday in a classroom at some university teaching undergraduate students. My sister said she pictures me as a professor with an African walking stick that I will acquire on one of my sabbaticals or something like that... (?) =) All I know is, I cannot wait for 05-08-2011 b/c graduating with a Bachelor's is a big deal in and of itself. Worst case scenario, in the event I do get rejected from everywhere, I'll look for a job. My "plan C" is AmeriCorps lol. However, according to everyone I talk to, they say, "You'll get in!" or, "If they don't let you, they're crazy!" or (my favorite actually lol) "Of course you'll get in--you're AMAZING!" Anywho, I am just babbling now....until next time ;)

KAY RICH OUTTTTT (I'M SOO EXCITEEDDDD---ABOUT LIFE) LOL

Resolved

I thought you were God’s soldier,

but you ran a one-man-army.

I thought you were you praying for me,

but you were really preying on me.

The thing that hurt the most

is that you acted as if it never occurred.

A sincere, “I’m sorry,” probably could have helped.

Clearly, your morals have been blurred.

Had you been big enough

to admit who you really were and not who you portray,

things probably would have been different,

and I would have known for whom to really pray.

We cannot diminish the past,

and I still feel the pain.

However, I do not know where your heart now lies.

You may have genuinely changed.

I cannot even judge you;

I hope you come back to your senses.

Once you have Christ and then leave Him,

that is when true hell on earth commences.

I admit I used to positively hate you,

but the bitterness ate me up inside.

I refuse your control over me any longer.

God’s love is where I now reside.

Even though you caused

the hardest thing I have been through,

I searched and found in my heart

the strength to sincerely forgive you.